Misty Musings

Abuto couldn’t believe how much had changed for her in only the past few months. Going from a timid rogue to a mother Shadowlander was a leap she never thought would’ve happened, even if she didn’t give birth to her two new sons. It was all still a bit overwhelming, handling two active boys while trying to fit in with the Shadowlanders, and doing her best to keep Ni’s mood high despite the hardships he was facing. The death of his brother, the burden of official kingship, and stress (welcomed though it was) of raising two boys was tough of the golden lion, that much was clear to anyone. He had taken up his position somewhat morosely -- but who wouldn’t of? Abuto knew he never wanted to be king, and that he only wanted to be with his brother again. But fate was not in his favour, and the burial of the late king was a difficult one. The new king had been acting a bit more despondently ever since, and Abuto wondered if Ni was blaming himself for his brother’s death. Seeing Ni in pain hurt her too, more than she expected, but she wasn’t sure what else to do besides caring for his -- their sons and trying to convince those who had complaints to give the new king some time to mourn before they bombarded him with their problems. Such conversations gained her strange looks, and a few lectures about royal duty, but Abuto would just shake her head.

Yes, Ni had duties that he had to carry out, but it was a lot to do for one who had just lost the last of his blood-family. Abuto knew that feeling very well. She also knew what it was like not to have anyone around for support in such times, and while the other Shadowlanders were certainly concerned, their small pride already consisted of families, something Ni lacked. So the lioness did her best to quietly comfort Ni and keep his spirits up.

But that morning brought her to the canyon, the morning mist thick along the ground. It almost looked like snow, or at least what Abuto thought snow would look like as she had never seen it up close before. The other pridemembers had agreed to watch Kiasi and Makosa, who took the time to play with the older cubs rather than being stuck to their father or mother. It was rather difficult for Abuto to leave them, even if she wasn’t going far, but after weeks keeping careful watch over them she decided it was good to have some time to herself and to let the cubs branch out. So despite half her heart being torn, she left the den that morning with a lick and nuzzle to both her sons and promised to be back soon, while also making them promise not to get into any trouble. She wasn’t sure how well that would work out, knowing her boys were restless, but she couldn’t let herself be too overbearing.

Abuto wasn’t sure what exactly brought her to the ledges of the canyon, but figured it had something to do with it being where she first met Ni. How far they both had come since! Careful to watch her footing while the mist swirled around her paws, the russet lioness found her way up to a somewhat higher ledge where she could relax on the cool rock in the warm air. Resting on her side, she stared out across the canyon that, while somewhat mysterious and spooky, was also beautiful. She didn’t regret her decision to stay here, and had gotten a hold of the landscape surprisingly easily. She hadn’t thought, months ago, that she would end up here, raising Ni’s adopted sons, but staring up into the sky she wondered if it hadn’t already been planned for her. Everything seemed to have fallen into place, and she no longer felt restless or worried about day-to-day things. Something was still missing, though, something she hadn’t been able to put her paw on just yet and hadn’t had opportunity to think about until then. Abuto let her eyes fall shut, not sleeping but merely resting, as she mulled over what it was that made her feel incomplete.

Ni stared at his brother's grave, mourning the loss of the only family he had left. "Kimondo, I'm sorry, I- I should have come looking for you," The new king sighed, "I don't want to be king, but I can't just leave anyone in charge. Don't worry brother, I'll make you proud!" As Ni turned away he looked back at the shallow grave, "Say hi to mom and dad for me," Now, it wasn't often that the king's patrols were done as quickly as they were on that day and he now decided to travel back to the dens to spend some time with his family. But when Ni was alerted that Abuto had gone off, the male was instantly worried. Before his sons could see him return, the king was off, trying to catch a slight hint of Abuto's scent. What if she had run off, what if something happened to her? What if she was attacked? With that thought Ni went running off, passing by hyena and lion alike. But they knew to let their king be for now, let him take care of any urgent matter that need be taken care of.

Finally the king caught his 'mate's' scent and he slowed his movements once he could smell no blood, but his pace was still quick, he had to make sure that everything was alright. Why was he being so protective of Abuto? Was it just because he was king? Or was there something more? No, it had to be because now Abuto was his loyal subject, technically the need for her mothering skills were over because the cubs could eat meat. But, something still urged Ni to keep her as a part of the royal family, even if she wasn't blood related. Oh how his grandfather would think of it now, he was probably rolling over in his grave as Ni thought. How only one member of the royal family was blood related, and the one that should be wasn't even a consort! But it was all fate, he wasn't cruel enough to let these cubs go out dying, having just sucked in their first breaths of life. Their birth mother might have been that cruel, but Ni wasn't. He was happy that he made the decision to raise the boys, because now he couldn't imagine life without them.

As Ni entered the Mist Canyon, the scent of Abuto was stronger and Ni picked up his pace. He remembered that this was the place where he and Abuto first met, where they had raced and Ni lost at the last moment. Now that he thought back to it, was it on purpose? Or did he really trip over that stone on the ground? Either or, it was a thing of the past, and he was happy that the two had met. After over 15 minutes of running, Ni finally came across a seemingly sleeping Abuto. Never in his life had he been so excited and relived to see the female well and alright. "Abuto!" Ni called out, trying to arouse the sleeping lioness. Once she would wake up, Ni would nuzzle her head slightly, "What have you been doing out here all alone? Did something happen?" The king was legitimately worried, if something had happened he would destroy whatever made his friend be away from the pride. Well, he would because he was her king of course. Right?

The lioness’s thoughts had settled on her mother, whom she still missed dearly, but after spending a few weeks around the Stone Dias in the Desertlands, Abuto felt more or less content with her mother’s passing. It was a still a dull ache within her heart, as her and her mother shared a very close relationship as she was the only one who didn’t dislike Abuto from birth. Even before the trouble of her not fading spots, she had a bad reputation within her old tribe simply due to the happenings of her birth. Abuto had been the only female of her litter, and the runt at that, so it was a strange twist that her two brothers died shortly after birth. Her mother had been able to get past the grief and settled on concentrating all her love an care onto her surviving runt, but the other lions didn’t see the worth. Abuto had been subjected to ridicule and eventually a reputation of bad luck as each day passed, and her only friend seemed to be her mother, and that hadn’t changed until she had met Nyota and Ni.

So her mother’s passing was particularly difficult for Abuto, her only protector gone before either was ready, but the difficult path spurned on by the days after as she was chased off her previous home lands had in the end lead her here, to the Shadowlands. She supposed, in hindsight, there was really no way she would’ve refused Ni’s hopes to raise Kosa and Kiasi. What would her mother have said to that, after all the love she had shown? And after Ni had so graciously let the previous rogue live within his pride, though she was still small and ill-suited to be a huntress and food was scarce. It was still a set of events that baffled Abuto. After months, a lifetime even, spent running and hiding, her new life still seemed like a dream at times.

Some nights in the den she would awake and fear she was alone again, or back with her old pride without the protection of her mother. But the young lionesses would calm with the reminders of her new life sleeping at her side, cubs curled up to her for warmth (even if they were now trying to move farther from her in their young, boyish rebellious natures that would be forgotten as soon as the air got too cold) and Ni always near by.

Abuto was still confused at her thoughts for the new king. She had liked him immediately for his kind and playful manner, back when she first met him (once she was sure he wasn’t going to attack a wandering rogue within his territory, which was kind and unexpected enough as it was) even before she knew of his status within his kingdom. Even now, the only reason that mattered was because the burden of kingship was weighing heavily upon him. She wished he would let her share that burden, but between raising the cubs and the awkwardness and reluctance of the topic, such conversations were generally avoided or put off. Sometimes this would frustrate the lioness, but Ni seemed aware of something else going on within the pride concerning them which was confusing enough for Abuto.

What was she in relation to this “them” the pride seemed to be creating? She was a young, new member, previously a rogue, who probably appeared to come out of no where to join their ranks. She was small and strange looking, not a female one would pick out to help on the hunt. She was close to the king, almost stuck to his side for the first week of trying to get to know others with only Ni as her anchor. Then the two had come back with newborn cubs. Abuto supposed they did look rather suspicious to the others, but the question began to linger in her sleepy mind: What did she want to be?

Her thoughts had distracted her from Ni’s arrival until he called out to her, after which she blinked and rose her head slightly to find his form, thinking for a moment that she had simply dreamed it up. But Ni had in fact been looking for her, his distress obvious, and made his way to her side. Her heart fluttered in a way which was familiar but unfamiliar at the same time when he nuzzled her head gently, as it was a common feeling she got around Ni, but no other. She nuzzled him in return. “What’s wrong?” Abuto blinked and watched him curiously, herself worried at his own worry as worst-case-scenarios began playing through her head. Then he asked what she was doing out here and she gave a small smile. “I just needed some time to myself, and the boys could use some time around the others without their mother hovering over them every second.”

She shifted herself so she was sitting up on her stomach, tilting her head as she regarded Ni. “Did I worry you? I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to bother anyone. But I didn’t sense any danger, and it’s hard for others not used to the area to sneak up on anyone.” A frown formed on her muzzle, somewhat sheepishly. “Did patrols go okay? Are you okay?”

Ni was grateful when Abuto had woken up and seemed to be alright, "Yeah, I got worried, thought something might have happened to you and I came running," But when she had said that the boys needed time to themselves, Ni nodded and chuckled, if they were sheltered by their mother, they wouldn't get far in live, best to let them go on adventures now while they still were young. Ni wished that his mother didn't have to die so young, but that was a thing of the past, but was that why Ni was so protective of his children? Because he had no family to rely on when he was a cub? "The boys can be a handful, can't they Abuto? I know that they're going to grow up strong, maybe they'll end up being bigger than both of us!" The king knew nothing of his son's biological father, only of the story that it took more than a few hyenas to take him down as he snacked upon his elephant of all things. They had found his other known son as well, but there was no idea if there were any other cubs that they had missed. For all Ni knew, he could be harboring either the last, or two of many of Kuzimu's bloodline.

The spotted lioness then asked how his patrols went and Ni sighed, "They went fine, I visited 'Mondo," Ni's nickname for his deceased brother, it was mumbled too to show his depression over his older brother's death. Of course Ni blamed himself for his brother's death, he had promised to keep his kingdom safe while he was away. But Kimondo's kingdom not only consisted of the Shadowlands, but Kimondo himself. And Ni had failed his brother, he hadn't protected the one most important part of the kingdom. Him. And now Ni was thrust on another highly important duty, the ruling of the whole kingdom, keeping the peace between his own kind and the hyena alliance. Some of the hyenas were accepting of the problems that Ni had to go through, but others? Ni had already lost one or two hyenas back to Scar's clutches and four more left both kingdoms all together. It was tough, and Ni honestly wasn't ready for it, "Being a king is hard," Ni stated, "and then raising two cubs as well? I don't know how the others do it," The lion sighed, averting his eyes to the ground, "But at least I have you to help me, don't I Abuto?"

Ni stumbled on his words and quickly shook his head, "I mean, because you are- er-" But the golden king quickly shoved off his embarrassment and smiled, "So, the boys are growing up fast aren't they?" The king sighed and muttered in his brain, 'stupid, stupid stupid!' why was he acting this was around Abuto, they were just friends right? Yeah, just friends, nothing more, Abuto was the mother of his cubs only because she was helping out her friend. But, what was this feeling he had while he was around her? It was odd, but there had always been the feeling of oddity when he was around Abuto. But the king couldn't let something like this stop him from conversing with his friend. No, Abuto was his best friend, she was the only one who he could truly vent to it seemed. But as Ni looked at the spotted lioness, he noticed she seemed to be glowing in a strange way, wait, no, he couldn't be. No it was impossible. There was no way Ni could be, falling for her? "Impossible," he muttered, no, there was a logical explanation, there always was, right?

“Worried? About me?” Abuto smiled and gave a soft, meek laugh. “I’m really sorry to have caused you all that trouble, especially after patrols.” She knew how tired he could be after them. Either that, or restless. It really depended on the day. But she was bashfully flattered that he would worry and come running, as he said. “I’m fine though! And besides, I can handle myself,” She raised her chin up in bravado, but just as quickly lowered it again, ears falling back as well, a sheepish smile on her maw. “Or at least, I’m getting better at it. If only at running away.” But after the first few days of being a mother, she had learned that even if she couldn’t stand up for herself, the young mother would have to stand up for her sons, doing things perhaps she wouldn’t do for herself. It was a slow process though, and she was glad to have Ni around to strengthen her weaknesses.

But Abuto smiled at the mention of the boys. “Boys will be boys, as my mom used to say. They’re both very sweet though. They will definitely grow strong and compassionate, fully royal despite their blood. You’ve done a great job.” She spoke softly but full of pride, but laughed as she pictured her boys as adults. “I would not doubt in the least that they’ll tower over me, if not both of us!” Abuto was fully aware she was probably the smallest of her kind, for being not only a runt, but growing up the minimum amount of food. She wondered if she ever had cubs, if they would be as small or somehow grow into large lions, as her father was said to be. She still wondered if they would be cursed with her spots as well, but quickly forced the thought from her mind.

Abuto quieted at the mention of Kimondo, noting Ni’s sudden lapse into depression. It was a common occurrence with him. He never wanted to be king, only ever wanted to spend time with his only blood family left, and even that had fallen through with the late king’s business and untimely death. And the tension of the kingdoms were getting far worse, and Abuto knew Ni really had no desire to rule or handle the responsibilities of it, especially while mourning his brother. She often wondered if he blamed himself for his brother’s death, having kept to the Shadowlands while Kimondo had run into trouble elsewhere. His body had laid there, feeding the earth for weeks before anyone realized what had happened, and that was perhaps the worse blow. But Ni was reluctant to talk about it, and Abuto was hesitant to bring it up, worried about the depression that would take him at such times. “I’m glad. I’m sure he’s doing well,” the lioness replied softly, giving a short glance to the sky.

As he spoke about the hardships of being a father and king, Abuto rose to her paws. “They do it because it’s worth it, no matter the hardship.” She said in a moment of wisdom, or what she hoped was wisdom, and moved her head beneath his chin in both an affectionate touch, and to physically and metaphorically help him keep his chin up. Her heart flipped in embarrassment as he he stumbled over his words, but she kept smiling. “I’ll always be here.” She said sincerely, though her voice was hushed and shy.

She had always been a sensitive lioness, and emotional at that. She was still young and ill experienced in the way of relationships, even if her life seemed to be setting it up for her out of order. Abuto wasn’t quite sure what to make of the way her stomach fluttered when Ni would look at her, or how flattering and funny she found it when he stumbled over his speech when it had to do with her. She didn’t want to ever think much on it, because she had no clue how to handle any of it, and with her mother gone and her only female friend lands away, (not to mention buys at that with running her own kingdom) Abuto had no one to turn to to help her along. Though Nyota would probably try to convince her to disregard males of all kinds and to not trust any.

So Abuto simply looked bashfully at her paws, nodding at the comment of their sons growing up fast. “Yeah, each day they’re getting bigger and bolder. Pretty soon they won’t need me.” The lioness was surprised at how much the idea hurt. She wondered if Kosa and Kiasa would remain in the pride as they grew, or go off on their own, and couldn’t believe how much she hoped they would at the very least stay nearby. “Though I’m always so worried that they’ll wander off and get into trouble.” She admitted, despite the fact she herself was trying to give them space. As much as she wanted to remain at their side every moment to watch over them, she also did not want to suffocate them. “Impossible? What is?” Abuto blinked, looking back to Ni in confusion.

Ni chuckled and pushed his mane back, "Nah it's fine Abuto, it's my job to worry. We have to put on a good show don't we? You know, 'cause everyone thinks, well you know," It was the fact that the two weren't mates, but the pride didn't know that. Hiding something that large from a whole pride was stressful, but the two lions seemed to make it through. The king laughed as he too pictured his sons as adults, standing taller and larger than their "father". Their blood father was large, strong enough to take down an elephant no less! So, who would be the fool to say that the two boys, abandoned by their mother, would be growing up large. Even with the scarce food source in the Shadowlands, Ni had the definite feeling that he would soon be towering under his cubs within the coming years. It scared him to say the least, that with their personalities they might turn on their father and overthrow him for the throne. What if there was parts of their blood father's personality in there yet to be unlocked? What if they went out and found joy in breeding other lionesses? What if they ended up with a whole lot of cubs just because they felt like it? What if they threatened to kill all females born of the lionesses? What if they threatened to kill the females off after they bred them cubs? What if Kiasi and Kosa hated their father and mother after they told them they would never be king? What if they found their birth mother? What if-

But Ni was quickly taken out of his worries when Abuto looked to the sky and mentioned that she was sure that Kimondo was doing well. Ni followed his "mate's" gaze and smiled as he thought of his older brother. He may not of known him for long, but they treated each other as litter mates. They were so close, and it was a tragedy when he was killed off by some unknown force. The creamed colored golden tinted male moped around for days after his brother's death, he had just lost his entire family again. But then came Kiasi and Makosa, then came along Abuto, the trio had brought a life back into Ni and the pride. "Yeah, I think he's doing just fine. I think he's bossing around dad and mom truly, but maybe he's just rolling over backwards and acting like the cub he once was. I hope he hits grandfather and my aunt for me, show them that I'm fully capable of ruling the kingdom," Ni never really talked about his family affairs between his aunt and grandfather to anyone, but it seemed that both Abuto and Kiasi pried the information out of the slightly secretive lion. But when Abuto placed her head underneath his chin, Ni could feel his heart race. He could barely understand what she had said as he felt his face heat up in the moment, but he could make out her saying that she would always be there. "Thanks Abuto, I knew I could always count on you,"

The king shook his head and let out a laugh when Abuto stated that soon the cubs wouldn't need her anymore. "Abuto, a cub always need their mother, and Kiasi and Kosa are no different. Heck, there's still times that I end up breaking down and crying, wishing that my mother was still here with me to comfort me. But maybe it was because I lost her as a cub that I didn't really need her. But still, I do in a sense," Ni snorted slightly, "Don't worry, they'll always come back to us. They'll realize that it's a big scary world out there and come running back to sleep on top of their mother! Especially when they're fully grown and three times our size put together!" The male exaggerated slightly but he knew that his cubs wouldn't really leave forever. They would always find their way back, the same way Ni found his way back to the Shadowlands and to his brother. To his home. When Abuto asked about what was impossible, Ni froze and stuttered again, "N-Nothing! I was j-just thinking a-a-about s-s-stuff. Y-You know, pride stuff!" He smiled internally, nice save. "It's going to be impossible to keep everyone safe unless we establish some border patrols and royal guards," But then a thought came to his head, "Hey, what about Kiasi and Kosa? I can't make either of them king Abuto, you know that. So we need to plan for what they could be. Royal guards? Possibly?"