Found The Place I Want To Be

Duara was amazed at how quickly time could pass when you believed that you had ages to go. It seemed only yesterday she had spent a torturous night with a male lion whom she had not desired to be with, but had arranged their encounter beforehand because he was the most suitable and desirable mate that she could bare to be near in any sort of sexual way. Now, the months had flown by in a blur and all of a sudden the time when she would be giving birth to her litter was approaching. The excitement built as the days blurred between each other and the minutes seemed to be no longer than the seconds themselves, which were just a minuscule non-existant amount of time in her eager mind. But the excitement did not travel through Duara's emotional system alone, no, it had brought along anxiety. Duara's mind was anxious about how this day would turn out, and she could only hope for the best whilst her mind pictured nothing but the absolute worst outcomes. Some of them made her cringe with fear, whilst others were not so worrisome. She knew it was un-likely for any of the evil idea's that danced across her conscious mind to become a reality, but she was anxious still that they might in fact become a danger to her.

The worst one still burned inside of her whenever she entertained the idea, for already the sandy lioness had come to deeply adore the cubs that were inside of her, growing each day and becoming closer to being able to be hugged by their mother who loved them so much. Duara feared that she would lose her darlings when they were born, it was not un-heard of among lions for cubs to be born already dead, and she feared that it would happen to her. Her mother's lack of fertility when it came to her own cubs worried Duara, but she was glad that at least she had managed to become with cub - though her mother had too, and often she had experienced a still-born cub. Duara cringed at the thought of a little sandy her, so small that she should not exist. Of course, when the cubs were growing inside of her they need not have fur, but nonetheless Duara pictured herself as a young cub completely still and un-moving. She cringed at the thought and decided a while ago not to share her concerns with her beloved Nyota.

The non-blood Queen hadn't realised the day would be upon her so quickly, nor did she really even consider it that morning when she awoke to a sharp pain inside of her that she was about to have the cubs. She had got up and down her stretches, waddling out to get some fresh air as the pains kept coming. After the third one, it had finally clicked to the sandy lioness that the cubs were coming, and now she was lying in the centre of the cave, eyes shut tight as she winced every time a contraction came. She hadn't really thought much about how painful this was going to be, but now that the time was upon her she was nervous. Her eyes flew open as a particularly painful one coursed through her and she whimpered at the pain that shot through her. Shaking her head, she let it fall back against the cave floor and waited out each contraction, hoping that soon the pain would be over and she would have at least one bundle of joy to love and cherish for the rest of her life, to watch grow old as she had watched Nyima. Oh, how Duara hoped that Nyima might love the cubs as if they were her blood sisters, because Duara certainly thought of the Princess as her daughter despite them not being linked through blood like Nyota and Nyima.

It seemed not to matter to the Queen that she was not of the same blood as Nyima, for she found that her love for her daughter went just as deep, and despite everything she still considered her to be her daughter. It warmed her heart that Nyima felt the same, as the Princess had admitted it to Duara at one point when the Queen had been worried if Nyima did not feel any sort of connection to Duara, because she felt a connection to the beautiful young lioness whose features were so reminiscent of her mother, with hints of her father for added beauty. She may not have been overly caring of Ismahel, but he had been gracious in forgiving Nyota for her betrayal of his trust and his negotiations when it came to the cubs had been more than reasonable. He was indeed a wise King, and posed no threat towards the Lowlanders. He also seemed to be fairly mild-mannered, something she hoped would be passed on to the white Sakitu who she remembered fondly. Peace between the two lands would be a nice thing to keep hold of, Duara mused before her thoughts were ripped away from the Coldland King at another painful contraction.

Not minutes later, the contractions became closer and closer until Duara knew it was time. The agony was not something she would care to endure again, though the result was most likely worth it. At the time of the pain, she cried out and cursed the Great Spirit's for putting these 'damn cubs' inside of her, to quote her words. She shut her eyes and just waited it out, gritting her teeth and enduring the agony until she heard a tiny little squeak and her eyes slowly opened. Her every bone felt weak as she wearily looked down at the little cubs. They both stumbled around blindly, their eyes shut as all cubs were born to be. She was already astounded by her cubs beauty. One had the same marking as her, and was possibly the cutest little cub she had ever seen, and the other took after her father who resembled Nyota, making her appear like her non-biological mother. She smiled and reached out a paw to lazily draw them both close to her, nuzzling them with an awestruck look in her eyes. They were beautiful and already her heart swelled with love for her babies.

Despite Duara’s attempts to harbor her anxieties alone during her pregnancies, Nyota could always sense the apprehension building within her mate as her belly swelled and stretched. As the day neared that the litter would make its grand appearance, Nyota herself was consumed with her own fears, most of which were irrational. This time, there would be no upset father barging in to claim one of the cubs. The male the queens had chosen had been elderly for some time, but a mighty specimen of strength that had been tolerated by the Lowlanders when he chose to come near. He looked remarkably similar in coloration to Nyota, which pleased the lioness more than she would express.

She had allowed the male to spend his last months safely within the jungle. In the last several weeks, however, Nyota had ceased to spy the old lion lounging about her verdant territory in his retirement. She assumed, therefore, that he had finally left the world of the living to join the invisible Spirit realm to which all living creatures would someday return. But she didn’t discuss this with Duara. It was irrelevant. They had arranged everything perfectly this time. The cubs that would arrive soon would be theirs. In spite of the impossibility of their family, that is what they had become, and no lion or Spirit could destroy that. And Nyota was proud; immensely proud.

Duara had risen early that morning, and Nyota knew why immediately. She had sensed that the wait would not be long, even if Duara was taken by surprise that her time had already arrived. Part of Nyota, a huge part, found it difficult to keep away, wishing that she could be there for Duara as she suffered and strained to deliver their cubs. But she knew it was wise to give the laboring lioness her distance, so she waited with whatever patience she could muster outside of the cave, where Kiburi had painted the mural of Duara and Nyota in honor of their litter. Finally, after the agonizing cries subsided and were replaced with the soft, incessant squeaks of newborns, Nyota decided it was a safe time to enter and see for herself what her love had created.

Slipping into the den silently, the very sight of Duara, now a mother of her own biological offspring, instantly rendered Nyota helpless to her emotions. Nyota, who had been trained from a young age to hide her feelings at all cost, now felt it impossible to utter a word, for fear that she would break down. Her joy was too great to contain, and it slipped down her earthy cheek in the form of a single salty tear as she approached. "Are they.. What…" But proper speech seemed to fail Nyota as she looked down at the pair of tiny new cubs as they snuggled in against their exhausted mother. "They are perfect," she finally breathed out like a happy sigh as she gently nuzzled her tired mate.

Duara had been determined to deal with the pregnancy by herself because she was not dependant. It had also been the strangeness of the hormones making her want to get through it all by herself, but she was grateful that her mate always seemed to be able to sense when she was panicking about one thing or another and could easily calm her down without upsetting her and making her feel like she wasn't able to do this by herself. It was ridiculous that Duara had wanted to do it by herself and she knew that it was but she couldn't help it - she hadn't wanted to be a burden on the Pride and for a while she still had refused to given up her patrolling duties but Nyota had managed to convince her that it was best for the cubs.

Duara could feel the panic building as the pain intensified and she started to worry that something would go wrong. But what? Would the sweet little cub come out already dead like had happened to her mother on more than one ocasión. In her mind's eye she could still see the acute pain on her parents faces at the dead cub before then. She knew the pain they'd both gone through trying to have Duara, and then to give the cub some siblings. But she'd had more than enough family in their Pride which had once been so big. It still hurt Duara to think of Nyota's siblings all gone, for they had always teased her like they had Nyota and though they were not her kin by blood they had always been special to Duara. She didn't want to lose them, but she had and now she could feel the panic rolling off of her in waves as she snapped her mouth shut and tried not to alarm Nyota by crying out in pain. Though, it might have been alarming by the little amount of sound coming from where Duara was.

But the pain was too much at times and she finally allowed herself to cry out before shutting her jaw once more. She knew they were alive they moment they had left her body, because she could feel their presence in the air. She looked down at her cubs and her heart swelled with joy at the sight of them. They stumbled around blindly, searching for their mother. She was surprised by just how small they were. She could remember Nyima being that small, but she was so much taller and older now that the memories were fuzzy. She swept out her paw and gathered them close to her, shutting her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. She'd never been this emotional but they were so beautiful. Both girls, her sweet little angel's. She smiled softly and felt glad they were the same gender as a majority of their Pride, still upholding the female rule of the Lowlanders Pride. She looked up and her eyes opened once more at the sound of her cub letting out a small little sound and she spied her ever so quiet mate making her way into the den.

Nyota looked overjoyed and for a Queen who had always been perfect at hiding her emotions most of the time, it meant a lot to Duara to see the tear slip down her cheek at the sight of Duara's litter. And this time there was no threat of a white lion seeking them out in search of his own cubs, for the arrangement had been made and Duara was sure that the lion who sired her cubs was no longer on this earth, a sad story indeed. She licked the top of the one that looked like Nyota's head and then the one that was the spitting image of herself. Nyota seemed at loss for words and shakily, Duara reached out her paw and touched it to Nyota's in a tender movement. Duara smiled softly as Nyota nuzzled her and she brought her paw back, letting her head fall to the ground softly as the cubs nuzzled into her and yawned lightly. "Dyota looks like you," Duara mumbled sleepily. She knew that Nyota had a preference for cub names that were like her own. Dyota was a mixture of their names and meant 'light'. Half-lidded eyes looked over at the cub that was so like her but she was not sure which of the names her and Nyota had come up with they should choose. She looked from the cub to Nyota expectantly, waiting for her to supply a name.

For once in her life, Nyota still found herself struggling to keep her emotions under control. She had suffered many great losses, but somehow, the gift of Duara’s cubs was a joy that seemed to overwhelm her more than the worst tragedy’s grief ever had. It was a happiness she rarely allowed herself to feel, but the occasion was more joyous than any Nyota could recall. Of course, the gender of the cubs would not have mattered to Nyota, but secretly, she was pleased to find that both were females. An unspoken fear that haunted Nyota was the notion that all of her children could fight for the throne someday, with bitterness growing between them instead of familial love and loyalty. Or worse yet, that none of them would be willing to accept the crushing responsibilities that accompanied the title of queen…

Where was Nyima that day? Nyota could only guess, but her errant daughter seemed less interested in her duties with every passing day. Worrying for her daughter’s safety was tiresome, and it accomplished nothing: the princess was keen on following her own path, wherever it may lead her. She was still a kind lioness and Nyota hoped she would look after her new sisters. They would be a family now, the five of them. Nyota glanced up to the mural that Kiburi had painted weeks before, of an expectant Duara and a proud Nyota. Now the moment had arrived, and it was more than Nyota could have wished for: two healthy cubs. Two tiny replicas of her beloved Duara, so much like their mother but different and lovely in their own ways. Her focus returned to the exhausted lioness when she felt the soft touch of her paw.

The darker queen’s smile seemed to grow impossibly, clearly pleased by Duara’s name choice: Dyota was a combination of both queens’ names, and somehow, the tiny cub managed to look like them both as well. Nyota could only wish that she had played some part in the conception and creation of these cubs. But despite their unconventional family, Nyota loved her companion’s offspring as much as she had loved her own – perhaps more so, for she knew that these cubs would be theirs, with no father to come to carry one away. They were their cubs. Realizing that Duara expected Nyota to name the other little girl, the chocolate colored lioness paused as her mind raced for a moniker perfect enough for such a perfect cub. Should she be named for one of her ancestors, lost many years before her birth? No, the new princess deserved a name that was entirely her own, not one recycled from a long dead relative. Should she be named for her obvious beauty, or should she be named in homage to her forest home? Should she be called something that would indicate her future strength, or the intelligence she was certain to inherit from Duara?

As her mis-matched eyes examined the squirmy tan cub, Nyota craned her neck to nuzzle her yet nameless daughter when inspiration struck: the perfect name, something that fit their family’s unique situation and Nyota’s euphoric state, too. A purr rumbled in her throat when she spoke again, unable to take her eyes off the tiny newborn, who stumbled blindly towards Duara’s warmth. "She will be called Wiana." It meant ‘balance,’ but more importantly, it meant to ‘be of equal status’ – and in Nyota’s heart and mind, both of Duara’s newborns were her daughters. She would accept them as her own, and they would have the same opportunity to someday rule the jungle territory. But for now, they were so small, so innocent, Nyota wished for nothing but happiness and peace in their futures. She settled in beside her exhausted mate, still purring with a rare contentedness as she nuzzled her cheek beneath Duara’s chin, and her eyes never left the cubs. "I have seen so much beauty in my life, but nothing could be more beautiful than this. I will remember this moment until the end."