Impossible Solitude

The form of the mahogany hued cub could be seen sitting away from the den. Giza was only a few feet, but she couldn't stand to be around the other cubs at the moment. The constant sound of bickering and playfulness set her ears back flat against her skull, giving the cub a constant appearance of looking irritated or enraged. She sat in the shadows now, hoping to catch a few minutes of peace before someone noticed her absence. Her half-brother Mheetu had been attacked recently, and the cubs were watched closely now every moment of the waking day. A low sigh parted her lips. Giza's life was dull, there was no denying it.

More often, Giza was beginning to contemplate what it was like beyond the borders of the Pridelands. Her father said such terrible things about the other kingdoms that the russet cub had developed a disdain for other prides besides her own. She wasn't the type who trusted what her father said, even if he was the king. In her short life, Giza had seen countless examples of his ineptitude as a father. Granted, she had no clue what a king was supposed to do, but from how the other lionesses regarded him, she was starting to suspect he wasn't very good at his other job, either. Still, her littermates practically fell over themselves to get his attention, while Giza couldn't recall a single time she had spent one-on-one time with him. She didn't seek it out, and neither did Scar.

Things in the den seemed to be a bit tense after the attack on Mheetu. The royal cubs had been on close watch, not being able to move a single paw without it being seen by a lioness. Ari, of course, didn't mind this at all. I mean it WAS a rule laid down for their own protection, so how could she disobey? Plus, it kept the others from dragging her on one of their 'adventures' that always ended with trouble. But it seemed not every cub took the situation as well as Ari.

The hot light of the mid-day sun shone through the cracks in the cave, illuminating its cold damp walls in a soft golden glow. Ari slept peacefully under it's warm comfort, but something seemed a bit....wrong. Sluggishly the young cub lifted her head and surveyed the area. Mother was sleeping on the far side of the cave, some nameless lionesses stood guard at the front, Tasa and Kifu were angrily bickering about something, and Giza laid off in the shadows. Ari squinted at this sight, sure Giza always looked a bit irritated and upset, that was normal! But today she seemed to be in a fouler mood, if that was even possible, and that stirred worry in the cubs chest.

With her head down low, Ari slowly made her approach to Giza, doing her best not to draw attention to herself as she walked. She looked at her with a small smile. "Hey Giza." Ari started quietly and sat next to her. "You Okay?"

Giza was soon joined by her oldest sister, and she gave a resigned sigh. She looked to Ari with an eyebrow arched questioningly, as if to say, what do you want? But she stayed silent when she was asked if she was okay. This was something no one had ever really asked her before. With so many cubs to care for, Heshima was simply too busy to pay attention to quiet Giza. "I guess so." A feeble shrug was offered along with her response, but it was entirely unconvincing, even though Giza was perfectly capable of putting on an act when she felt it necesary.

Ari was the only cub around who their father seemed to like. Scar even took Ari out on walks with him, while the others resorted to stalking their absent father to get any attention from him. Giza had seen Tasa and Kifu return pouting, or in tears because their father had made it clear that he wasn't even remotely interested in them. Giza, the dark cub herself, had never made any effort to spend time with him. With every passing day, his erratic and negative behavior seemed more and more weird to the cub.

That day, Giza hadn't seen Scar, not even once. He had disappeared before dawn. A new brother had just been born, one that displeased their father as much as Kifu had before him. It seemed Ari was to remain the favorite, and Giza sneered at the thought. "What do you care? I'm surprised you're not out with our father. He left you with the rest of us rejects today, hm?" Now, it wasn't that she disliked her sister with a sweet disposition. It just wasn't fair that Ari found love when the others had failed.

Ari frowned not understanding her sisters harshness. She had never been anything BUT nice to her fellow cubs, being rude would set no example. So why did everyone seem harsh toward her? Ever since her siblings found out about her walks with Father they had been giving Ari a bit of a cold shoulder, and she did not like this at all. They were family, they should love each other and be happy with one another. Or was the poor cub just living in some fantasy world?

Sure, the older cub was upset and irritated by Giza's harsh words and bad attitude, but Ari was passive and realized arguing and escalation the conversation would only end in disaster. "Its not like that Giza..." She said softly hunching her shoulders slightly. "Father is out.. taking care of everything. Making his rounds, making it safe for us. We are not being rejected, he is just busy. He IS the king after all..."

As always, Ari went on about her father, still living in the delusion that he was the most fantastic king of them all. Almost God in her eyes. So of course she didn't notice, no, didn't believe that Scar would ignore them. He praised Ari, trained Ari, spent time with Ari, and made her feel wanted. How could the father that did so much to her possibly be bad?

"Is that why you are upset? Because Father is not here? Or is it something else? Giza I want to help you feel better, I hate seeing my sister sad. I can help! I really can! Just tell me and I will make you feel happy again I promise!" Ari said with childish enthusiastic booming in her voice. She could not fully understand her sister foul mood or the deep depression building up/ All Ari's purple eyes saw was a sister frowning in a corner for some unknown reason. And she just had to help!

An incredulous snort was offered when Ari attempted to defend their father's absence. "You really think that, huh? That's pretty funny, Ari. The rest of us know that he just doesn't want to be around because he hates us. But then, I guess he doesn't hate you, so you wouldn't know that." The bitterness was obvious in the low tones of the russet princess. Royal titles meant nothing to Giza, and it was no excuse for Scar.

Of course, Giza herself had not even the faintest idea what a king did on a daily basis, and she had no basis for comparison. Scar was the only ruler the cub had ever known, besides the lioness Zira, who few took seriously as queen. Giza was vaguely aware of the growing discontent within the pride, and had already realized that many of the lionesses blamed their father. She wasn't certain what he had done wrong, but Giza could sense that something just wasn't right in the Pridelands.

When her sister offered to do anything to cheer up the gloomy cub, Giza's frown warped into a strange, sneaky grin. The wheels in her head were spinning... Ari was the favorite because she never broke the rules. Well, what would happen if Ari was bad? Would their father lose interest in the one daughter he seemed to care about if she disobeyed, too? "Actually, there is one thing that would make me feel better. But I don't know if you could get it..." Her gaze averted, as if she was longing for something unattainable but truly worthwhile. "There's a beautiful flower that only grows near the borders. I've only ever heard of it, but it's... Magic! Yeah, it's a magical flower with all sorts of powers you wouldn't believe!"

"Well if you act like this around him I wouldn't doubt he hates you..." Ari mumbled quietly to herself, burying her head in her paws. She wounded why trying to be helpful was always so difficult. It seemed no matter how hard she tried to act mature and be nice to someone, especially a cub her age, they would either lash out or mock her! And though the cub was nice and quiet, she was no saint. And her patience was growing thin with Giza, the child inside was roaring to do something else, preferable something entertaining, safe, fulfilling, and within the rules.

But her interest perked slightly at her sisters mention of a flower. Giza said that it was something that would cheer her up, and if she was happy then they could bond! They could do sisterly safe things together, and she would smile and they would have a blast! So Ari was all ears. But, if the whole magic thing wasn't an alarm for disaster, then the crossing the boarder thing defiantly was. This was an adventure, but one set for failure. Then again...

"A magic flower you say? Well I guess that would cheer anyone up!" Ari said with excitement, playing along with the whole magic thing, even though she knew there was no such thing as magic. I mean the idea of fairies and dragons and what not was simply childish! No, alchemy, voodoo, and fortune telling was where its at! "Buuut. That boarder would be a problem. But as long as we have a horn-bill at our side then i'm sure we can do it!"

Ari's record was spotless. She knew for sure if she batted her eye lashes a bit, and smiled an angelic smile she could convince her mother or a horn bill to follow them on this journey. Ari may have been quiet and proper, but she wasn't stupid. She WAS one of Scar's cubs after all. Some of that meticulous planning had to have rubbed off on her, if only a tiny bit. And who knows, maybe along the way she could grow closer to Giza and bond! Anything to get a smile on her face! "So why are we waiting! Lets go while the sun is still in the sky!"

The words Ari mumbled were overheard, but barely, and Giza's dark rimmed ears set back flat against her skull when she realized what her sister had said. It was a fact that none of the lionesses in the pride seemed to care for Giza. Perhaps she looked a bit too much like her dark father for them to accept her, or maybe as Ari suggested, it was her poor attitude. "He doesn't know me at all. No one does," Giza pouted quietly. Heshima loved all of her cubs unconditionally, but with her mother, Giza often put up an act of sugary sweetness that was not who she really was. When left to her own devices, the russet cub was much more like her brooding father than she comprehended.

She didn't know if her sister was gullible enough to believe that the magic flower actually existed, but she seemed to be playing along, at least. Giza nodded quickly and even stood to show Ari the way to go before the older cub's better judgement got in the way of Giza's plot. "Ari, you're the least fun cub that ever lived. Maybe that's why Scar likes you so much." Her sky blue eyes rolled and she uttered an irritated sigh. Having Zazu or any other adult present would ruin Giza's plan entirely. "Hornbills are boring and annoying! We don't need anyone but else. If we go real fast, no one will even notice that we're gone."

"Unless, of course, you're a coward," she suggested, a brow arching questionginly. "Are you a coward, Ari?" It was her last ditch effort to convince her goody-goody sister to break the rules for once, but she doubted it would work. Ari wasn't a stupid cub, by any means, but maybe if Giza egged her on enough, she would be bad like the others. Giza didn't like that only one cub could find a place in their father's heart. Unfortunately for Ari and in spite of her good intentions to help, bitterness was already growing in young Giza.

"Come on. It'll be fun" Now she tried to reason with Ari's adventuresome side... If such a side existed, anyway. Giza herself had little desire to leave Pride Rock, and had done so few times in her short life. Even then, it had always been with her mother. Heshima was busy now, and had not yet noticed that the two cubs had slipped away. It was only a matter of time before the mother noticed though.

The harsh taunting's stung the young cubs Ego. The least fun...bah! Ari would scoff at those things! When no one was looking that was... Being 'fun' would not make the grass in Pride Land green again, or the water supply grand an abundant, no! And as Ari grew older she started to understand this more and more; being 'fun' would not make her a Queen. She was the first born of the litter, and ever since her discussions with Scar about how she could one day be like the great Queen Uma, fun just seemed unneeded!

But the first born flinched at the mention of her cowardly actions. No...she was not a coward! Just level headed and responsible! Their was no way she was a coward...fear was a stupid thing, no King or Queen was a coward! Sure, Ari didn't get into fights, or strayed away from arguments, and really didn't venture outside the safe areas, but that didn't make her a coward! ...Did it?

Hey violet eyes shot around the room in a nervous fit and found a sudden interest in her paws. "I-I'm not a coward..." She said, as if trying to convince herself more than Giza. "I...I guess a trip outside alone wouldn't be that bad.

Ari finally met Giza's eyes and smiled meekly. Her head was yelling at her, screaming that this was a bad and stupid idea, but that wild lion that was hidden deep inside the cubs unconscious state urged her on. She had something to prove now, not to Giza or Scar or the other cubs, but to herself.

"W-well I guess we should get going then. While the sun is high in the sky after all. As the first born, I will take the lead! S-so you don't get hurt." Ari took a few cautious steps in front of Giza and began to silently make her way to the exit of the den. Her breathing was heavy, unsure, and almost doubtful in what she was about to do. But, this was a part of life right? Ari would prove she was no coward, and maybe even admit that she could be a little fun! And I mean they were only going to see a flower, things couldn't get that bad...could they?

Ari was finally beginning to succumb to Giza's trouble-making influence, and the russet cub grinned, pleased that she had been able to use her powers of convincing on the 'good one.' It appeared the only way Ari would be getting into mischief was accompanied by a sibling, and so Giza figured it wouldn't hurt to tag along. Her original plan had entailed letting Ari stray a short distance from Pride Rock, then run in to tattle on her, so that Heshima had to go and collect the errant cub and bring her back to the others. Then she would tell their father that Ari had finally turned bad as well, like the others, and Scar would no longer have a favorite in the bunch. It would be leveling the playing field for the other, less likable cubs of the litter like herself and Tasa. Kifu was a boy and got attention for that simple fact alone, but with so many sisters to compete with, it was easy to disappear in the backdrop of the pride.

She thought it funny that Ari considered herself capable of leading because she was the oldest of the litter, jumping ahead of her defiantly. "Oh yeah? Well I'm the smartest, so I should be the one to lead the way! I won't ever get hurt." Giza would never realize how much like her father she was in at least one respect. As she spoke, she was already sprinting down the path that would lead to the day's adventure. None of the pride lionesses came into view, and Giza giggled, already enjoying the thrill of their misdeed.

Giza seldom got herself into trouble, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. If the two cubs ventured out together, they could go just a little further. Safety in numbers, or so they said. The problem was, the russet instigator hadn't the faintest clue which direction to go. She had often gazed down upon the territory from Pride Rock, but with only vague interest. Well, they were bound the find something in any direction they walked, so Giza attempted to lead the pair off to the east for no particular reason.

After taking only a few steps, the russet cub seemed to reconsider her path. If she was the one in charge, then no doubt she would be the one in more trouble, and that wouldn't do. So she turned back to Ari, smiling strangely. "Well, maybe you're right. I really don't know which way to go."

Ari took a somewhat offense to her sisters comment and listen as Giza bragged on about being the smartest. Maybe if Ari had a little backbone and a healthy douse of courage, she would have scoffed at the statement. Maybe brag about her superior intellect. Perhaps even prove it to in some wistful conversation using words that she had yet to comprehend. But instead, Ari just shifted uncomfortably and stared at the ground. "I'm smart too..." She mumbled in a pathetic attempt to prove her dominance. "And just because your smart doesn't mean your- Hey wait up!!" Before she could finish her parent like rant on her little sister, protesting that smart and wise were two different things, but by that time Giza had already headed off into the distance and was almost out of sight.

The warm African breeze bristled through Aris rusty hair as she ran. She felt such power in the movement, as if even the all mighty power of mother nature had to bow down to her speed. Was this what it felt like to be free? To be from liberated the binds of responsibility that had formed around her for so long? If this was freedom, then it felt good.

The cub might have enjoyed her freedom sprint longer if it wasn't for that annoying little thing called a conscious thats pulled her back, causing her to remember what exactly was going on. Giza had led Ari to somewhere on the outlines of the pride territory. She wasn't all to familiar where she was, since Ari had never ventured out farther than the watering hole, but she took some comfort in the misty image of Pride Rock setting with the sun in the background.

Ari bit back a grin as Giza handed the leadership over to her. Power was something the shy cub always craved. And when she had it, had the ability to lead or make decisions or make a difference, it was like she was a whole new person...er...lion. A voice inside warned her that Giza had something up her sleeve, so Ari kept that in mind as she happily took the lead from Giza.

"Well. If it's a magic flower we are after, I think it would hide in some cave. You know, a place where lions wouldn't normally go." She knew that sentence didn't make much logic, seeing as she was a lion and they slept in a cave, but it was the only thing Ari could think of doing that was still somewhat safe. So, before Giza could argue Ari immediately pointed out a some what safeish looking cave near by. "Like that one! Come on, lets head over there quickly and see whats inside. If we hurry, we might be able to make it back before dinner."

Giza couldn't tell if Ari actually believed the magical flower existed at this point, or was just playing make-believe. Though she was not the most playful cub, she was definitely imaginative, as witnessed in the littles fibs and tales she spun on a daily basis. Still, the idea of some fantastic flower was more fun to follow than deny, and she followed Ari towards the cave. It looked like an ordinary old cave to Giza, but there was always the faint chance that there would be something inside of it -- something that young cubs didn't necessarily want to find, like a hungry rogue leopard or who knows what! This thought caused the cautious cub to reconsider this plan of action all together.

She had never been this far from their home before, or from their mother, and suddenly, it made her nervous. What if what the grown ups said was true, and wandering away could get them hurt? Suddenly, her desire for adventures seemed to fade, just as Ari was discovering her own thirst for freedom. Giza was far from the shadows she lurked in, far from Heshima and the other cubs. Watching Ari get into trouble was her original intent, and now Giza wondered how the situation had spiraled... Of course, it had all been her idea, but she wasn't going to admit that.

So the russet cub froze in her tracks, her expression now clouded with her own doubt. Pride Rock was not too far away, and as Ari suggested, it would soon be time to eat again, if the hunting party had succeeded that day. Giza could still see the safe place looming not terribly far away, since the direction she had chosen was not too distant. "You know, I don't think a magic flower really is in there." It wasn't like she was scared or anything... But she had already proven her point in luring Ari away from the den for even a few minutes. Maybe now, the eldest daughter of Scar would finally be punished like the others, if anyone had even noticed their brief absence.

"Maybe we should go back and see if anyone noticed," she said with a laugh, though the words left a bitter taste in her mouth, for she was skeptical. Sure, it was busy at Pride Rock, but someone would have noticed by now. Giza reasoned that their adventure had gone on long enough, and now she would test to see if the pride paid any attention at all the two girl cubs who were normally no trouble at all. Maybe they would be scared already for Ari and Giza's absence, and maybe their father was already arranging a search party! The idea was rather exciting for the blue eyed cub, though she knew if Scar was worried at all, it was for Ari, his favored child. The thought brought a small frown to Giza as she turned to lead the way back home, certain that she knew the way, because she could still see Pride Rock, and she was a clever cub who could figure it out on her own!

Ari was having an intense amount of fun in this moment, thought she would probably never admit it and go as far as denying it if they ever asked. She had never had such a large taste of freedom before, and she was enjoying every moment. She might have even gone as far as to cross the boarders of rules that she had set for herself in her drunken state, but Giza's troubled tone brought her back to her senses.

Ari stopped dead in her tracks and stared at Giza, eyeing her younger sister, trying to detect any lie or deception in her tone. But she saw nothing to disprove the worry swirling in her eyes. Was she, the very lion that had convinced Ari to stray from the den, rethinking her decision? If that was the case, this was certainly drastic indeed.

She never believed in the magic flower, that was for sure. Ari just wanted to amuse her sister and have an adventure with her. But now, now Ari was starting to worry about Giza who looked nervous and, dare she say, frightened. The eldest cub instincts were kicking in, and Ari smiled a warm and almost sympathetic smile at her sister.

Walking up to Giza, Ari nuzzled her affectionately, as their mother did when they were upset. "Okay Giza, we can head back. It is best we head back before dinner anyway...but first..." Her purple eyes gazed over to the cave only a few feet away. Something inside glimmered in the light, and the temptation was to strong to let it sit there alone and undiscovered.

"Wait right here. I'll be back in a flash!" Ari said with enthusiasm before zooming off into the dark depths of the cave. Inside damp stone walls was a beautiful arrangement of flowers changing from hues of blue to shining shades of red. She grinned.

It was true that they had come out looking for a flower, and Ari was not about to come back home empty handed. Leering down, Ari scooped up several flowers and held them in her mouth. There was one for everyone in the family! Tasa, Kifu, Giza, Heshima, even Father! They were going to be so pleased to find the gift!

Trotting out of the cave, happiness beamed from the clay colored cub as she took her place beside Giza. "Now we can go!" She said through a mouthful of flowers, so it ended up more a mumbled reply than anything else. But, who cares! At the moment, Ari was having more fun then she ever remembered!

Giza tried to hide any look of concern or fear, but the outside world was still new to her. Tasa was the cub most likely to stray, while Giza and Ari had never really tried before. Well, at least they had gotten this far, Giza thought to herself. They had not encountered any strange lions, or even any hungry hyenas, and so their adventure had been an innocent one. She jerked away from Ari when her sister tried to nuzzle her, looking at her like she was crazy, though deep down, Giza craved the affection she had refused. "Yeah, I'm hungry, anyway! I wonder if the hunt went well today," she mused allowed, though it was safest not to raise one's hope when it came to a meal.

When Ari disappeared inside the cave, Giza waited outside nervously, feeling rather helpless. If she were to hear cries for help, would she go in to aid her caring sister? Giza knew that if the tables were turned, Ari wouldn't think twice about coming to Giza's rescue, and the thought brought a faint smile to the dark cub's muzzle. To Giza's great relief, the other cub was absent for only a brief moment, and she would not have to test her own bravery that day. Wandering this far from the shadows of the den

To Giza, the flowers were tangible proof that the two had indeed wandered away from the den, because nothing so beautiful grew by Pride Rock now. She had heard in the past, when times were better, the kingdom had been a lot greener and prettier, but now it was shadowed and dying. In any case, if Ari wanted to get herself into trouble, then that was her decision, though Giza knew that her sister was only trying to be nice. It was likely their father would not even get mad at her after all, but Giza was resigned. Ari really was the nicest of all the cubs, Giza had to give her that.

Their fun was not entirely over though, and knowing that they would soon be back home safe again (and eating!) was comforting to the russet cub, who soon forgot her nervousness. "Race ya back?" Without waiting for a response, since Ari's mouth was now full of colorful blooms, Giza started to take off, but she stopped quickly to look back over her shoulder. "But don't choke on the flowers, I don't think those are the magic ones!" With her warning offered, the cub turned away again to spring in the direction that they had just traveled, bouncing down the path with more energy than she was accustomed to.

Maybe getting away from the den was good for her, in the end. Giza's heart felt less heavy than usual, and her mind was full of new ideas, daydreaming about magic flowers that could never exist. But wouldn't it be nice if they did? The usual pessimism the cub usually portrayed seemed absent as she hurried along in front of her sister, occasionally looking back to make sure Ari had not fallen too far behind.

A muffled laugh escaped the flower filled lips of the young cub. She mumbled something like "A race? Your on!" But wasn't able to make her challenge audible enough to make sense. So, she just smiled and raced behind her somewhat faster sister, rolling her eyes slightly at the idea of choking on the flowers. She wasn't THAT clumsy...well she hoped not anyway.

As the before blurred image of Pride Rock started to become clear in her view, Ari thought back to the fun she had today. It wasn't long, and was rather short lived, but in the end it was very productive! She managed to feel this 'freedom' that Ari always heard about, but was never able to experience it for herself, spend time with her sullen sister AND see her smile. Not only that, but find these beautiful flowers that, although maybe not magic, were sure to bring smiles to her family!

It was rare something so beautiful would grow in the dampen caves and cold gray rocks of her home, so this was a rare occasion indeed! 7 months she had been alive, and in those 7 months she had seen the frowning green grass change colors to sad mournful brown. The tree's seemed to shed their remaining leaves, leaving nothing but old and worn bark that was slowly becoming victim to the harsh conditions of the land around it. And that water, that crystal blue hole that she spent much of her time lazing around in innocent happiness seemed to grow smaller by the day. Ari was too young, to dull, to see how these things connected or notice that the land around her was slowly dyeing. But she did realize something was off, and everything was changing.

Spending time in her thoughts, Ari fell behind in her sisters race. Shaking these somewhat depressing thoughts from her mind she raced up to Giza. But as she grew closer, she noticed how her sister seemed to be stopped, frozen in her tracks. Ari's pace slowed, she turned to see the looming figure of a angry face glaring down at them. She gulped. "Looks like they noticed..." She said, her jaw clenched in fear against the flowers.

How could she have been so stupid to forget what they were doing! They directly disobeyed the rules, and worst off all Ari willingly took part in it! What would father think of her now? Would be be ashamed? Call her a failure? Disown her? Throw her off of pride rock to fend for herself in the harsh wild Savannah?! Oh God, anything but that! She tried to keep her nerves controlled, so it wouldn't show in her body language, but she couldn't pull the feeling of absolute terror that rang in her pools of purple eyes.

But, this was her fault, no one else's. She shouldn't, no, wouldn't let Giza take the blame for this. Ari laid down a flower at her sisters paws, giving her a small smile. "Don't worry, I will make sure you don't get in trouble. I had a lot of fun today! I'll see you back in the den!" Ari took another look at Scar and gulped. "...Hopefully."

And with a deep, brave sigh, Ari trudged up the rocky path to meet her father, and accept whatever fate he had in store for her.